“And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.” -Ephesians 4:26,27
I wonder how many relationships have ended during a fight. I bet it’s a lot. When I think back to my past relationships most of them ended during a fight or argument, and a lot of the time I regret some of the things that I said or conclusions that I jumped to. While saying what we feel at the time may make us feel better, being so hasty doesn’t always have a desired effect in the long run. Sometimes, we hurt a friend’s feelings, or even ruin a relationship that could have been amazing. When we are angry we tend to say some pretty silly things. Well known author, Gary Chapman, gives a few steps that we can take in order to use our anger to benefit our relationships with others rather than damage them. These five steps are from his website www.garychapman.org
- Acknowledge that I am upset. Say: “I am angry about this. Now what am I going to do?”.
- Restrain your immediate response. Avoid verbal or physical venting, as well avoid withdrawal and silence.
- Locate the focus of your anger. What was the root? If that person has wronged me, how serious is the offense?
- Analyze your options. The response should be positive and loving. You can choose to lovingly confront or consciously overlook.
- Take constructive action. If you choose to let it go, than tell God about it. Give Him your anger. If you confront the person do so gently and listen to any explanation, as this may reveal thing that you did not see before. If the person asks for forgiveness, then forgive them.
Paul tells us in Ephesians that we need to deal with our anger in the proper way. If we don’t it is a foothold for the devil. Anger has the power to destroy relationships and divide people, and you better believe that the devil is using this foothold as often as he can. Don’t harbor anger and resentment against others, deal with it in a way that will strengthen your relationships rather than divide them.
Something to think about: It is hard to be angry with someone when you are praying for them.
I like this Rachel. I know that I've always had trouble finding an outlet for my frustrations, but you've put it in a different light. I like the alternate perspective. Thanks.
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